Do you know that feeling you get when someone tells you everything you would rather not know, under the guise of “I thought you should be made aware?” That suspicion that the person’s only real motive is to kill your vibe or suck the life out of you?
This recently happened to me. Well, as recent as yesterday, truth be told.
“Twenty years ago, everyone knew he was cutting the heads off chickens and holding satanic rituals and, well, now I always see pictures of him online with your girls and it worries me..”
The person thinks you are reeling from the satanic rituals part, when actually your brain is stuck on the fact that he is being touted as the new father figure. I see this shit all the time with other friends on Facebook. I can only imagine what people who follow my ex are seeing.
I tried to come off nonchalant about the whole thing:
“You know what kind of stories people can tell about me from 20 years ago?”
When actually what I’m really thinking is how shitty it is that people love to disseminate bad news. As if they had some vision of you, just doing your thing, in a good mood, and they’re like, “I need to put a stop to this! How can he be going around playing gigs, writing, baking and posting funny things on social media when his ex is continually posting nuclear family shots of herself, the kids, and John Wayne Gacy?
Maybe she just thought she was helping.
That happened with PayPal, too. They were trying so hard to be helpful, they’ve made themselves into nothing more than an artificially intelligent nuisance. Much like other artificial matter, it just doesn’t live up to the real thing.
I agreed to a 7 day free trial to Facetune. Apple helped themselves to $80 out of my checking account. I wrote to them and explained that where I come from, a free 7 day trial usually means said company only takes your money after 7 days. Apple saw things my way and agreed to refund my money.
Well, because the transaction took place over PayPal, PayPal insisted that they would look at the facts and make a decision.
My response was, of course, we don’t need your mediation. We resolved it! To which PayPal responded, “We are ruling in favor of the merchant.” Umm..great King Solomon, we don’t need you.
This was a transaction from January 22nd and as I write this on February 1st, I am still waiting for PayPal to stand down. You’d be bestowing a gift to all involved if you just did nothing, folks. Why you gotta be so extra, PayPal?
That’s the funny thing about the word “help.” Help is wonderful to give freely as long as it is “help.” Sometimes, the biggest killjoys and buzzkills on the planet, show up dressed in a cloak of unsolicited help. Ask anyone who began with a flat tire and finished the night in Central Booking. This shit happens everyday.
My friend Kerry will appreciate this more than anyone else, but think of this as a public service announcement, dear reader. Before you pop off the line like Tyson Gay and bestow your help upon an unsuspecting party, ask yourself if you are really helping. You know, like I say all the time, play the tape to the end.
In my case, even if my ex was dating Jack the Ripper, what could I do besides worry and hope they break up? From experience, I know, neither activity is worth a plug nickel. In 2004, my first kid’s mother met a dude in rehab. Like everyone else in the world, I gave them two months—tops.
They’re still together.
So, I’m not terribly comfortable wishing for baby mom II and her lover to break up. I’m practically convinced that I’d be better off just buying them a timeshare for their retirement. As a matter of fact, whenever I think of them together, I think “I hope they live happily ever after.”
“I hope they live happily ever after.”
“I hope they live happily ever after.”
Oh, the irony, Billy...the series I began binging last night on Netflix, New Amsterdam, spoke exactly those words. "How can I Help?" I feel, as humans, we get caught up in how we think what we have to offer is what the person needs. When in all actuality, it's typically far from what they actually need. Between unsolicited advice and Mister Rogers' "helpers" being sometimes more in the "hurters" realm, I feel genuine assistance into offering relief or guidance gets lost in the shuffle. So lost that it's harmful, like you mentioned above. The rushing around for the quick fix or the easiest way out makes the shit storm even shittier, all too often. Thanks, but no thanks kinda thing. See ya next week :) hugs