As a man who used to be inordinately uncomfortable unless I was either in a relationship, trying to get in a relationship, or ending a relationship, I can say with honesty and not a little pride, that this past year has been an unprecedented period of growth for me. I have had a couple of near misses with a few women here and there, but getting a relationship off the ground in the last several months has resembled– well, have you ever seen a helicopter trying to take off when it’s overloaded? A little something like that.
I can attribute much of my current success to the world of fiction. When I began my novel around Christmas, it was not only difficult for me to concentrate on anything else, it was impossible.As I mentioned in previous articles, my thoughts were 100% occupied with the business of feeding myself and my character’s lives. I really had no room for anything else.
The result of this phenomena was that I seemed to be possessed of a new happiness that could not be affected or altered by anyone else. That is something I know that I used to pray for at times in my life. Especially those times when I was stuck in that unhealthy roller coaster associated with online dating. That ceaseless drag on my soul where I would go from elated that someone was interested in me and dark and grouchy when it wouldn’t work out.
There were years of my life where I was nothing more than a pitiable, hungry ghost.
I just came to the end of the six week waiting period that the great novelists suggest one wait between writing one’s first draft and writing the second. This means that this coming weekend I should be seriously occupied with reading my manuscript and, at the very least, making notes about how it should be improved, rewritten and condensed. Or added to. This will become more clear as I read what I wrote. I did not begin my process with a fully formed outline, as James Patterson recommended, I began with a premise and characters and allowed the thing to grow organically, the way Stephen King suggested. I suppose either way can work–it’s simply personal preference.
The most interesting part of my journey was how the themes in the book began to transition and take shape. Originally, my idea was to focus primarily on how difficult it is for extremely obese people to participate in a world designed for skinny people. This idea became a subplot and themes such as false confessions and wrongful convictions became a main focus. I’m sure the fact that I was reading “Duped,” by Dr. Saul Kassin, while I was working on the book, had a lot to do with it.
I read quite a bit during this period–which is never a bad thing. The more great writing one can expose oneself to during the process will only help; although, at times, it felt more harmful than anything else. When I read “Yellowface,” by Rebecca Kuang this week (all in one day, mind you) I felt a bit like Eric Clapton the first time he saw Jimi Hendrix on stage. Hendrix was so magical and such a unique talent that Clapton wasn’t really sure he should continue playing. I wanted to throw out everything I had written and start over from scratch.
Luckily, I followed it up with a somewhat mediocre thriller and realized that not everything in the literary world comes up to the caliber of “Yellowface.” It’s a fine thing to aim for, but it’s unrealistic to think that one can write at that level right out of the gate. Kuang was an Ivy Leaguer who began with a trilogy of thousand page books and “Yellowface,” was kind of like her “Old Man and the Sea.” Condensed, fully realized and gorgeous from beginning to end.
Another book that recently blew me away was “Pizza Girl,” by Jean Kyoung Frazier. This book was a bit like a modern version of “Catcher in the Rye.” It possessed all the irreverence that you might remember from that work but written by a Zoomer and not someone born in 1919.
So between everything I learned from these books, all the geographic information I took in from my recent trip to the Phoenix desert and the Tempe landscape (the settings in my book) and the hiatus period, I should be able to craft a second draft that I will be excited to query to agents. (I spoke to my current agent recently and she explained that she would have loved to represent me for this project, but she doesn’t really have any viable connections in the world of fiction. So I have to start from scratch. Sort of.)
I do have the advantage of being published in the past, but there’s no guarantee that will be an advantage. It could just as easily be a disadvantage. The world of publishing is a strange monster.
But when all is said and done, it feels a lot nicer to deal with a strange monster than a hungry ghost. Being rejected by agents and publishers is something I have managed to build a very thick skin for. Being rejected by members of the opposite sex, still carries a bit more weight.
Which is why my morale has been higher than it has ever been before. Removing oneself entirely from the world of crazies, can do so much for one’s outlook.
Hungry Ghosts and Strange Monsters
I can't wait to read your work of fiction. I can only imagine how well written and passionate it will be. Rejection sucks, but I tend to see that sometimes agents are not ready for our styles.. :) Publish anyway!
I am enjoying reading about your process of the writing, and also love the book suggestions in this. This new addiction to novel writing is clearly the antidote to online dating. Looking forward to next week's words of wisdom. 💜